The levels of grief never cease to amaze. So many things I never thought about that are now just part of life. I think about things like that with Jake a lot, there are so many people in my life now who never met him. And there is something about those who did that make me want to hang on tighter to them.
Missing future memories are hard too.
At the risk of being corny, I know the love a mom has for her son and there is no doubt in my mind that she is with you through it all even when it's hard to believe it.
Thanks for reading what I write. Where are you now? Cali?
30.5 years in to my second life. The life after my mom passed. The grief is more of a baseline now. I miss her but my sadness now is for my girls who only know of her through the stories. I’m sad that whoever I find to spend the rest of my life with will never have met her. That my dad, brother and I have a distance between us that we wouldn’t have if she had survived the cancer.
Maybe my journey through alcoholism and recovery would have been different with her presence.
The hole in my chest doesn’t have the sharp edges that it did in 1995. It fills in a tiny bit, day by day. I don’t feel hollow or empty anymore but I still feel a space where there’s room for her. Where the future memories would be if not for her death.
The levels of grief never cease to amaze. So many things I never thought about that are now just part of life. I think about things like that with Jake a lot, there are so many people in my life now who never met him. And there is something about those who did that make me want to hang on tighter to them.
Missing future memories are hard too.
At the risk of being corny, I know the love a mom has for her son and there is no doubt in my mind that she is with you through it all even when it's hard to believe it.
Thanks for reading what I write. Where are you now? Cali?
Texas. Between Austin and San Antonio. We moved here from California in 2016.
I’m still a little embarrassed about the day we ran into you, Brian and Ethan in Woodman’s of Essex and I called Ethan Jake. It was such an overwhelming small world moment and he was so polite when he corrected me. But I was mortified. 🤐
I was just remembering running into you and I can tell you that I didn’t even remember that! No need to be embarassed. We always think it means people are thinking of Jake and that makes us all happy!
Unrelated but my cousin teamed up with a guy from Ciro’s a few years ago and opened a restaurant in Saratoga called Wildhorse or Ironhorse? Something like that. I’ve not been but I figure you probably have. My cousin is more of a silent partner. He lives close to Boston but spends the summer there. Lucas White is his name.
The levels of grief never cease to amaze. So many things I never thought about that are now just part of life. I think about things like that with Jake a lot, there are so many people in my life now who never met him. And there is something about those who did that make me want to hang on tighter to them.
Missing future memories are hard too.
At the risk of being corny, I know the love a mom has for her son and there is no doubt in my mind that she is with you through it all even when it's hard to believe it.
Thanks for reading what I write. Where are you now? Cali?
30.5 years in to my second life. The life after my mom passed. The grief is more of a baseline now. I miss her but my sadness now is for my girls who only know of her through the stories. I’m sad that whoever I find to spend the rest of my life with will never have met her. That my dad, brother and I have a distance between us that we wouldn’t have if she had survived the cancer.
Maybe my journey through alcoholism and recovery would have been different with her presence.
The hole in my chest doesn’t have the sharp edges that it did in 1995. It fills in a tiny bit, day by day. I don’t feel hollow or empty anymore but I still feel a space where there’s room for her. Where the future memories would be if not for her death.
The levels of grief never cease to amaze. So many things I never thought about that are now just part of life. I think about things like that with Jake a lot, there are so many people in my life now who never met him. And there is something about those who did that make me want to hang on tighter to them.
Missing future memories are hard too.
At the risk of being corny, I know the love a mom has for her son and there is no doubt in my mind that she is with you through it all even when it's hard to believe it.
Thanks for reading what I write. Where are you now? Cali?
Texas. Between Austin and San Antonio. We moved here from California in 2016.
I’m still a little embarrassed about the day we ran into you, Brian and Ethan in Woodman’s of Essex and I called Ethan Jake. It was such an overwhelming small world moment and he was so polite when he corrected me. But I was mortified. 🤐
I was just remembering running into you and I can tell you that I didn’t even remember that! No need to be embarassed. We always think it means people are thinking of Jake and that makes us all happy!
Unrelated but my cousin teamed up with a guy from Ciro’s a few years ago and opened a restaurant in Saratoga called Wildhorse or Ironhorse? Something like that. I’ve not been but I figure you probably have. My cousin is more of a silent partner. He lives close to Boston but spends the summer there. Lucas White is his name.
I know Wildhorse! It’s two blocks from my house!