Still Her Mom
Erica Phelps on identity, caregiving, grief, and life after child loss.
Child loss is tough. There is no way around it. No matter how much we talk about grief, learn to live alongside it, or remind ourselves that great joy exists, it still just sucks.
Erica Phelps joins me on the six-month anniversary of her daughter Emmie's death. I've known Erica for several years through our work at Jake's Help From Heaven, and when we learned of Emmie's passing in December, we were heartbroken.
Born healthy, Emmie began experiencing infantile spasms as a baby, and over time her condition became increasingly medically complex, requiring around-the-clock care and reshaping every aspect of family life. Erica shares what it was like to parent a child with profound medical needs, the purpose and identity caregiving created, and the devastating reality of losing not only a child, but the life built around caring for them.
We talk openly about the reality of early grief, sibling loss, guilt, survival, and what happens when the role that consumed your days suddenly disappears. We also discuss the challenge of carrying your child forward while continuing to live your own life, and the ways families find connection, purpose, and moments of light after unimaginable loss.
This conversation is honest, heartbreaking, and important. For those walking this road, I hope it helps you feel less alone. And for those who haven’t experienced child loss, I hope it offers a better understanding of what grieving parents carry and why speaking our children’s names matters so much.
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XO,
Heather