What Will You Do When You’re 85?
Finding inspiration from Billy Bob Thornton
I recently caught a clip of Billy Bob Thornton talking to Jenna Hager on the Today show. It was just a snippet of their conversation, but ever since I heard it, I’ve been borderline obsessed.
Billy Bob said there are a few things he’s looking forward to doing when he turns 85 (which is about 15 years away). Mostly things he knows aren’t great for him, but… why not? He talked about going to Long John Silver’s and Pizza Hut and eating whatever he wanted. Jenna latched onto the idea and joked that she and Carson had talked about maybe taking up smoking again.
And honestly? I’m all in.
I’m always walking that line for myself and doing what I need to do to live a long, healthy life. A life where Brian and I can stay active and travel. A life where we can do all the things with Ethan and, someday, his future family. A life where I can run around and play with future grandkids.
It’s worth committing to exercising 5 days a week and walking 10,000 steps every day. It’s worth cutting back on foods and drinks I love. It’s worth paying attention to what my Oura tells me, drinking my water, and hitting my protein like it’s my job.
BUT not to the point where it comes at the cost of actually living. Not to the point where I stop enjoying the life I’m working so hard to protect.
The biggest lesson I continue to focus on after losing Jake more than 15 years ago is remembering that life is for the living. Life is fragile and fleeting. We can’t just wait until tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. That doesn’t mean we don’t value life. It doesn’t mean we stop taking care of ourselves. It means we try — every day — to live in that balance. And for me, maintaing that balance is my constant work.
I wrote about this last year when I learned the phrase Joyspan. This conversation between Jenna and Billy Bob (we’re on a first-name basis now) brought me right back to that idea. I also recently stumbled on a Midlife Unflitered podcast that cited my Substack (which is one of the funny things you discover when you Google yourself). I love that so many others are thinking about these things too.
“Joyspan is a term coined by Kerry Burnight, who was a professor of geriatric medicine and gerontology at the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine for 18 years. In her upcoming book, “Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half,” she says that a lengthy life span does not equal a life well lived: You have to like your life, too.”
What “bad habits” would you bring back?
Maybe I’ll join Jenna and Carson and take up smoking again at 85. I may even go back to Long John Silver’s too. Maybe I’ll revisit all the little things from my youth that, in my memory, brought me joy.
I’d try to recapture those moments before we worried about protein and hydration and what was “good” or “bad” for us. Beacuse if I make it to 85 (or older) than the goal has been accomplished. The healthy choices worked. They did what the were supposed to do.
And who knows?Maybe those days of smoking and junk food never come back. Maybe once you’re 85, you decide you’d like to see 95 and you keep doing what you’ve been doing all along.
Either way, it’s all about balance and finding that line for ourselves, wherever that may be. And having fun and making memories along the way.
I had a mini smoking renaissance during the pandemic. I do not recommend it 😂😂 but cheers to longevity if you’re enjoying your life!!